Thursday, November 26, 2009

Explain Thanksgiving to the Lama

In the early 17th century, the members of a dangerous cult religion sailed across the ocean to establish a commune in America. Since most of them were emotionally disturbed, they had trouble surviving in the new land, and by the time November rolled around, they were left destitute, starving to death.

The native peoples felt compassion for the cultists, so they came out of the forest to share food with them, and taught them how to care for themselves.

As soon as the cultists regained their strength, they rewarded the native peoples by stripping them of all their worldly goods, giving them venereal disease, and killing as many of them as they could possibly find.

To celebrate this triumph, every year at this time, people in America sacrifice millions of turkeys, watch violent contact sports, and suffer from acid reflux.

Nevertheless, through karmic consequence, the native peoples came to own and operate many  gambling casinos, which systematically strip the descendants of the cultists of all their worldly goods, leaving them destitute, and starving to death.

And this time, nobody is coming out of the forest to share a god damn thing.


Stumble Upon Toolbar

1 reader comments:

katedanaher said...

you are such a trouble maker telling the truth the way you do ;>