Stabilizing the Mind

That is so nice, isn't it? A fan letter from the famous. I specially enjoy the part about "Please do not waver no matter what is reflected to you. Ordinary eyes do not see you."

Hmm.. no matter what is reflected... ordinary eyes...

You think there might be too many jokers in that old gal's deck?

Well... lets take a little look-see, shall we?

Diagnostic criteria for 301.83 Borderline Personality Disorder

A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

(1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

(2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

(3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

(4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

(5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

(6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

(7) chronic feelings of emptiness.

(8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

(9) transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

Damn, Honey! You got all nine of them jokers!

Isn't this an exhausting way to live? Doesn't it completely drain you and those around you?

Here is Jamgon Kongtrul Rinpoche, speaking at a conference on Buddhism and Psychotherapy in 1987:

"Buddhism teaches disciples to look at everything from an ultimate point of view, and students learn that relationships are not restricted to personal experiences or immediate situations. How are relationships between men and women seen according to the ultimate truth taught in Buddhism? Free of separating, free of dualistic ideas that divide between a self and others. Relationships are not created or attained. In the absence of the ultimate view, one needs to look at relationships as practically as possible and understand that all experiences in life need to be faced with a sense of openness and appreciation. Regardless of whether beneficial or detrimental, one’s relationship to oneself and others depends upon openness and empathy. Openness in Mahayana Buddhism means being concerned about and caring for others; it also means not making any demands as to how others should be. In Mahayana, one learns not to be picky and choosey but to accept oneself and others as they are and not to have any expectations."